Open in new window
Hilarious
 Hilarious

Meeting the parents                                                                                                                                                                    a girl invites her boyfriend to dinner with her parents on Saturday night. The girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. The boy is excited but hasn’t done it before, so he goes to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything about protection and doing it. The pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family packs. The boy takes a family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up and the girl take him inside the house to the dinner table where the parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say the prayer. A minute goes by, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down, 10 minutes pass, finally, after 15 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I didn’t know you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I didn’t know your father was a pharmacist."

Blond joke:

Two blondes were supposed to meet at the mall for lunch.

The first one gets there, and waits 2 hours for the other one.

Two hours later, the second blonde arrives.

“I’m so sorry for being late!” She says.

“It just that the stupid escalator I took broke down, and they took mighty long to fix it, I stood der waiting for 2 hours!”

“You idiot” The first blonde yells, “You could have SAT and waited!”

Man to God:

Why did you make the woman so gorgeous?

So you will love her!

And why did you make her so stupid?

So she can love you!

Marriage jokes:

How do you please your wife?

When you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up.

A husband and wife were speaking with a few friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.

'Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a fantastic relationship” the wife explained.' He majored in communications and I majored in drama. He communicates very well and I just pretend that I’m listening.”

Getting married is similar as going out to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has ordered, you wish you had ordered that.

Related articles: Funniest Jokes

                             New Teacher First Day





Related Articles
Movie Release -50 Dead Men Walking Movie Release -50 Dead Men Walking

Title: 50 Dead Men Walking
Release date: 11 December
Read More

Movies: Cop Out Movies: Cop Out

Catch these award nominated films and latest drama at your nearest cinema!<
Read More

Movies Movies

2010 Abuse ANC and Anni Apple avatar Bafana Barack Britain Cape China crime Cup Dewani Eskom facebook FIFA Gaga Google Haiti HIV Internet Jackson Jub Malema Manchester Mandela MaNtuli matric Michael Nelson New Obama of Oprah Prince Shrien SWC The tickets Tiger Transnet twitter United Winfrey Woods World Zapiro Zuma
Powered by Sevafrica
Errors
Deprecated
Queries
0.001163 - SET NAMES 'utf8'
0.000212 - SET SQL_BIG_SELECTS = 1
0.002001 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '0' AND conf_catid = '1') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.003272 - SELECT sess_data, sess_ip FROM session WHERE sess_id = 'vhr7ptet2bjp25gvqh8fqdon16'
0.000239 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'travel'
0.000167 - SELECT COUNT(*) FROM group_permission WHERE (gperm_modid = '1' AND (gperm_groupid = '3') AND gperm_name = 'module_read' AND gperm_itemid = '59')
0.000182 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '59') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.000282 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'protector'
0.000433 - DELETE FROM protector_access WHERE expire < UNIX_TIMESTAMP()
0.001601 - SELECT COUNT(*) FROM protector_access WHERE ip='54.147.142.16' AND request_uri='/modules/travel/article.php?travel_newsid=1378'
0.000461 - SELECT COUNT(*) FROM protector_access WHERE ip='54.147.142.16'
0.000378 - INSERT INTO protector_access SET ip='54.147.142.16',request_uri='/modules/travel/article.php?travel_newsid=1378',expire=UNIX_TIMESTAMP()+'60'
0.000807 - SELECT COUNT(*) FROM banner
0.000897 - SELECT * FROM banner LIMIT 0, 1
0.001104 - UPDATE banner SET impmade = impmade+1 WHERE bid = 1
0.000369 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '0' AND conf_catid = '3') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.000369 - SELECT DISTINCT gperm_itemid FROM group_permission WHERE gperm_name = 'block_read' AND gperm_modid = 1 AND gperm_groupid IN (3)
0.000446 - SELECT b.* FROM newblocks b, block_module_link m WHERE m.block_id=b.bid AND b.isactive=1 AND b.visible=1 AND m.module_id IN (0,59) AND b.bid IN (415,414,413,396,395,394,380,379,378,377,376,375,374,373,372,371,370,369,368,367,366,365,364,360,362,361,480,481,363,356,477,355,354,353,357,358,359,352,351,350,349,348,347,346,344,343,345,339,340,341,342,338,337,463,335,334,333,332,330,329,328,327,326,331,325,324,323,320,319,318,321,322,317,316,313,312,311,314,315,306,305,304,307,308,309,310,202,201,200,199,198,197,195,194,193,192,191,190,189,188,187,186,185,181,182,183,184,168,154,153,157,169,171,172,173,178,158,170,167,155,156,166,161,160,159,196,134,133,132,131,130,129,128,127,126,125,124,123,122,121,120,119,118,117,116,109,110,111,476,482,478,479,485,483,77,52,51,53,54,15,14,13,12,11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,411,410,409,408,407,406,405,403,402,563,404,401,399,398,393,391,390,389,388,387,386,385,384,412,383,382,381,294,293,292,291,290,289,288,210,207,206,205,204,203,179,135,112,208,209,562,115,136,180,68,67,39,303,17,16,416,417,418,421,422,423,426,427,428,429,434,435,436,437,438,439,440,441,442,443,444,518,446,447,448,449,450,451,454,455,456,457,458,459,460,461,462,464,465,466,467,468,469,470,471,472,473,474,475,513,487,488,489,490,491,492,493,494,512,511,496,497,498,499,500,501,502,503,504,505,506,507,508,515,510,516,520,521,522,523,524,525,526,527,528,529,530,531,532,533,534,535,536,537,550,539,540,541,542,543,544,545,546,548,549,551,552,553,554,555,556,557,558,559,560,561,564) ORDER BY b.weight, m.block_id
0.000371 - SELECT * FROM smiles
0.000399 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'tag'
0.000310 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '63') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.000270 - SELECT DISTINCT(o.tag_id), o.tag_term, o.tag_status, SUM(l.tag_count) AS count, l.tag_modid FROM tag_tag AS o LEFT JOIN tag_stats AS l ON l.tag_id = o.tag_id WHERE (o.tag_status = '0') GROUP BY o.tag_id ORDER BY count DESC LIMIT 0, 50
0.000741 - SELECT * FROM travel_travel_news WHERE travel_news_id=1378
0.452720 - SELECT * FROM travel_travel_news WHERE travel_news_description LIKE "%Hilarious%" ORDER BY RAND() LIMIT 0, 10
0.000554 - SELECT * FROM travel_videos WHERE video_topic =1378
0.000222 - SELECT COUNT(*) FROM group_permission WHERE (gperm_modid = '1' AND (gperm_groupid = '3') AND gperm_name = 'system_admin' AND gperm_itemid = '14')
0.000248 - SELECT * FROM travel_categories WHERE categories_parent=0 ORDER BY categories_id
Total: 27
Blocks
User Menu: Not cached
Search: Not cached
Custom Block (Auto Format + smilies): Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Cumulus Tag Cloud: Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Custom Block (HTML): Not cached
Total: 11
Extra
Included files: 90 files
Memory usage: 6593664 bytes
Timers
XOOPS took 0.545 seconds to load.
XOOPS Boot took 0.036 seconds to load.
Module init took 0.007 seconds to load.
XOOPS output init took 0.036 seconds to load.
Module display took 0.459 seconds to load.
Page rendering took 0.005 seconds to load.