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Sevafrica.com
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As if the ever increasing divorce rate wasn’t enough to turn even the romantic of hearts away from tying the knot, there are even more reasons not to get married. When couples decided to get married they just don’t seem to realize what they are getting themselves into. All they picture is the white wedding dress, a fleet of luxury cars and a happily ever after. But before you decide to put yourself under lock and key, we have compiled a list of reasons why you shouldn’t be so quick to walk down the aisle.
You Become the Maid
Yes ladies it is true, the moment your husband carries you over the threshold you have officially become the maid. The days of the caveman might be long gone but you are still expected to cook his food, pick up his smelly clothes and wait on him hand and foot.
No More Desperate Housewives
After slaving away over a hot stove you pick it up a notch so you can get the kitchen cleaned quickly in time to watch Desperate Housewives. But when you reach the living room there is the man of your dreams – remote securely in hand – flipping through the sports channel. Yes sweetie, look out the window because you are officially living in your own version of Wisteria Lane.
License to kill...erm thrill
Forget about curling up in the bedroom with good book after a long day at work. Now that you are have made everything official, your husband is under the impression that you owe him sex every night. Practice your fake orgasm sounds before walking down the aisle because you are going to need them for every time his anaconda comes out to play. Sex in marriage is very important so you just have to deal with it.
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Mother-in-Law from Hell
Your husband’s mother seemed nice enough before you tied the knot but now that you are officially part of the family she can say and do whatever she wants to you. In the first weeks and months of your marriage, expect her to check up on you 24/7. She wants to make sure you are taking care of her son and if you aren’t she will be happy to show you how it’s done. You will also be expected to stop by her house often to build that mother daughter relationship.
Constant Updates
Unlike your single friends you will have to constantly keep your husband up to date about your whereabouts, “Honey I just left the office, I’ll be home in 10 minutes” or “I’m in the ladies, it’s a number two so I’ll be a bit late”. You can’t even think without painting your husband a picture. No more last minute plans for a girl’s night out or crashing at your best friend’s house because you were too drunk to drive home. Your husband will pick you up in no time and give you a serious talking to about how naughty you have been.
Always in a Rush
When you get married, life always seems to be on fast forward. You practically jump out the bed in the morning, rush to iron your clothes and his, quickly make your lunch and his and race back up stairs to make up your bed. Because you are taking care of two lives now there really is no time to rest or slow down – your mother will be proud.
What’s yours is Mine
Remember how you could just walk into YDE and spoil yourself by buying a R1000 dress? Well wash that memory out of your mind because married people work on a budget. His money will be your money and vice versa. You won’t be able to buy tampons without your husband knowing about it. A lot of married woman throw around the word “allowance” a lot during conversations with their friends. There are just too many responsibilities – bond, his college loan, two car payments – to just spend your money willy nilly.
Don’t be fooled by the beautiful picture your friends paint of marriage. They’re just too afraid to admit that they don’t like the way things are and will be forced to consider the big D – divorce. But if you are determined to marry your prince charming then be sure to communicate with him about your insecurities beforehand. Once you tie the knot communication will fly right out the window. For those of you shaking in your boots right now, there’s only one lesson to learn from all this – don’t make it official.
Article by: Tamlyn Canham
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