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We are all too familiar with the term body language. There have been books, workshops and endless discussions produced about it. But do you really know how to interpret the non-verbal messages that other people broadcast on a continual basis in their interactions with you? There are two levels of communication that occur in any interaction. They are known as content and process. Content refers to what we say things while process refers to everything else that occurs.
How do you judge good or bad eye contact and what does it signal? When you are sitting and talking with your date, do you notice how they look at you, when you or they are speaking? When their eye contact is good, this is a sign that they feel comfortable and interested in you. It also communicates honesty and sincerity. Conversely, when your date has difficulty making eye contact, this communicates discomfort; lack of interest or it could be extreme shyness. The last would be easy to know if your date is a shy person in general.
A restless date is usually someone that moves around in their chair, looks at their watch, and their mind seems to be somewhere else. What appears to be going on is that their mind is somewhere else. This behaviour communicates a lack of interest or a preoccupation with someone or something else.
Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of being out with someone who watches the crowd the whole time? Perhaps, they just glance frequently around the room? This signals lack of interest, possible discomfort and a desire to avoid interaction with you.
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Silence can speak volumes. If your date has little to say to you what does this mean?
Maybe they are just not very interested in you or they are in an off or sour mood.
Only you can interpret this. Be careful not to quickly write it off to something you want it to be, as opposed to what it really is.
When the interaction feels good this is what you normally do. You lean forward and your arms are relaxed or laying open to the person. You face the other person directly and your posture is relaxed and at ease. It's very much easy to interpret the closed-in posture. The other person feels uncomfortable and aren't open to interaction with you. They would rather not be there. If this is a first date, it will probably be the last.
Perhaps the easiest communication to read correctly is that of touch. If your date avoids taking your hand or putting his arm around you, he may be uncomfortable or unsure. He may also be shy, but you would already know that.
If someone you have been dating for a while begins to exhibit changes in their level of eye contact, body posture, attention to you, availability and/or becomes restless or less communicative, pay attention. Their feelings have shifted. Be careful not to be too quick to explain it away. More than one occurrence should set off your silent alarm. Make sure that what they say matches what they don't say.
Other non-verbal expressions that you should listen to that can suddenly occur during the course of a dating relationship are; calling less or not calling at all, change in voice tone, becoming busy and not having time to get together, lateness, missing dates without calling or having a plausible excuse, moodiness- irritation/impatience/anger and outbursts.
If your date or boyfriend/girlfriend starts showing these negative signals, the best way to handle it is to comment in a direct and gentle manner about it. Then watch for what he/she does while you listen to their response. This will give you all the information you need.
Article Courtesy Of: Consum-mate
Article by: Nduduzo Ndlovu
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