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Do you ever regret the day you told your mother that you hated her and wished you were never born and she agreed with you? Just because she wouldn’t allow you to go out with your boyfriend on a school night or would not let you wear that tiny mini outside of the house. We all have those moments in life where we just wish our mothers could see life as we do. However, they wish we could see that they are only doing their jobs as mothers and trying to protect us because they love us.
Mother and daughter relationships have had strains for many years, normally from as soon as the daughter reaches puberty. The daughter feels that her mother is just trying to drive her crazy and “ruin her life” (the most famous line used). It is very depressing to think that we distance ourselves from the person who has given birth to us. We sometimes make their lives miserable, when all she’s trying to do is make sure we see right from wrong and only want what’s best for us.
However, this type of situation can be changed. You can have a better and healthier mother and daughter relationship.
Here are a few ways to improve this relationship:
Firstly, both mother and daughter need to be involved in reducing the strain on the relationship. Mothers don’t want their daughters to make the same mistakes they did. They offer advice, which to the daughter sounds more like criticism. It can often be so far off the mark of what the daughter really wants for her life that it feels as though the mother doesn’t really know her daughter at all. There needs to be proper communication between the two. Communicating is the best way to control the strain on a relationship.
Before offering advice, a mother should ask her daughter what she wants to accomplish, how she intends to get there, and learn to offer words of encouragement instead of advice. Daughters need to understand that their mothers are only trying to help them avoid future disasters.
There needs to be acceptance between a mother and daughter. When both of them feel as though they are valued and accepted by each other, they will leave the quips, sarcasm, and the constant edge of bickering aside and become more civilized to one another.
Boundaries can be hard for mothers, sometimes they just don’t know where to stop. But who can truly blame them, they want the right things for their daughters. They don’t want to watch them be used or hurt by any guy or to see their daughters become trampled at work. Even though mothers don’t want their daughters to repeat the mistakes they did, they need to realize that their daughters are different people. They have the right to make their own mistakes.
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All a daughter wants is her mother’s approval, no matter how old they become or how bitter they act. A mother who is proud and shows it will have a much better relationship with her daughter than the one who constantly echoes the voice of displeasure and disappointment.
Also keep in mind that every mother and daughter relationship needs honesty. This can go a long way in strengthening the relationship. Learn to be honest and when you are wrong or have lied, to speak the truth.
You need to always remember to cherish the bond the both of you share because once it is lost you can never get it back. If you do get it back, it will not be the same.
Sourced By: Professorshouse
Article by: Nadia Khan
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